Love and Marriage

Five more days and I become a wife. Five more days and I walk down the aisle, all eyes on me. Eeek. I've been asked seven hundred and eighty two times if I was nervous, and I am. Not so much about the man I'm getting married to, I'm sure about him, he's the one, and not so much about having to spend the rest of my life with him, but about all the people looking at me. All eyes on me, my special day. Ugh, I hate all this girly, mushy stuff. I never thought I'd get married. I wasn't that little girl who planned her wedding when she was young. I never really thought about it until recently. 

Until I met my fiance, I never wanted to get married or have children. I once told my mother when I was a little girl I wanted to be a nun. But it's easy to understand coming from a broken family. My mother and father fought like cats and dogs and my sisters and I were dragged into the middle of it all. It was the happiest day of my life when my parents divorced. Well maybe now it won't be.

But I'm still worried. Half of all marriages end up in divorce, so what's makes us so special? Why take the chance? I don't want my children to have to grow up like I did, in an unhealthy environment, with two parents who hated each other. But maybe we shouldn't let the facts hinder the outcome. If we let other people's mistakes get in the way of our happiness then we would just be stupid. Just because my parents divorced doesn't mean we will. His parents are still together and happy as clams. So I have faith. All we can do is love each other with all our hearts and try to make a better life for our children. I think I've learned enough from seeing my parents mistakes to not do the same stupid things. 

I still can't wrap my head around the fact that I'm getting married. It just hasn't hit me yet. I never thought this day would come. But it feels as though we're already married. We haven't been apart more than a few days in our four and a half years together. We've already got the silent talk down. We can sit in a room, silently, and know exactly what the other is thinking, and the silence is comfortable. I know we are meant to be, and to be we will. In a world full of divorces, I'm divorcing the fact that we will have one. I'm in this for the long haul, 'til death do us part, or until he loses all his hair. Ha Ha. -Hailey

What's in a Name?

Why must we change our last names when we get hitched? I feel a little disrespected at having to do so. I used to hate my last name it being Bush and all, but I've come to appreciate it, make it my own. Of course I used to deal with joking and teasing, as it being a synonym for a vagina, but it has made me who I am today, a stronger person, able to cope with teasing and bullying. Due to being teased, I feel I am more empathetic. Therefore, having a last name that made it very easy to be bullied, has made me a better person.

I brought up this subject to my fiance the other day and I told him he should just change his last name, and he just laughed at me like it was such a funny idea. Well I think it's a funny, absurd idea to have to change my last name. Why should I have to? When the idea of marriage first originated, why didn't people just combine last names? Isn't changing our last names sort of disrespectful to our ancestors? If we change our last names, don't we just forget where we came from?

Of course I could just hyphenate my last name, it could be Bush-Sparks, but please, Bush on it's own is a little hard to cope with, I wouldn't and will not do that to my children. I think we should just combine last names. My last name could be Barks, or Spush. I don't mind either of those. I just find it hard having to give up something that is as second nature to me as my fingers. Why should women have to make the change, but men get to sit pretty and just enjoy the show?

I am proud of my last name, of course I'm no relation to the politicians, I wouldn't have any right to be proud then would I? But once my sisters and I get married, there won't be any Bush's in our family left. We our the last of our kind. We will become extinct just like Mr. T Rex or the Dodo birds. I've lived this long with it, and I will be sad to see it go. I'll always feel like a Bush. I don't think that will ever change. I guess it's just time to grow up and face the facts. As we get older we have to do silly things like change our names for the sake of love, and other important things. I just don't want to grow up. Just call me Peter Pan-Bush or Push. -Hailey

Rock/Jazz/Techno Band

I've always wanted to be in a band. I love music and have a tattoo to prove it. I'd be lead singer presumably, and I'd play guitar if I knew how. But unlike other bands, we'd do a vast arrange of genre's. Rock, jazz, metal, new wave, indie, techo, etc...There's something unique in every type of music, and I don't think I could limit myself to just one. 

One of my songs I would just scream. Maybe yodel a little too! Add lots of good riffs like Black Sabbath's "Iron Man". And throw in some auto tuning, heh it would be great. I would just add all the great things I love from my favorite bands into my music. The water droplet sounds of techno, beats like Timbaland's, great lyrics like Coldplay or Radiohead, and the hard electric guitars of our great hair band heroes. 

I've always wanted to name the band "A Cat Named Moo" dedicated to the first real love of my life, my cat, whose first full name was Hitler (not that we were Nazi sympathizers, just because she had a small black mustache, and my mother has a weird sense of humor) Moonique Bush. Yes I know, crazy cat lady status right? But when doing something you love, in for a penny in for a pound.

I've always wondered why no other bands/artists have done this. I don't think I've heard of a band that had a metal song, a techno song, and a jazz song all on the same album. Sure you've heard of bands changing from say, Christian rock, to regular rock, but never has there been quite a mash up of genres. I would think as a musician it's important to know and love all different types of music, therefore being influenced by it all and forming their own unique sound. It would be interesting to sing everything that you loved. You would also have a great range of fans from old to young. And critics could never say, "Sounds exactly the same as their last album."

But what kind of band would it be? It wouldn't fit into any one category, just all of them at the same time. Let's just hope it doesn't get filed under "other". Maybe miscellaneous assorted listening? Huh, not spunky enough. Maybe Motley listening. That is if Motley Crue doesn't get their panties in a twist about it. They didn't create the word "motley". And what's a "crue" anyway? I would just hope that with our music, we could change things, make people open their minds to a greater vision. That's probably what most bands tend on doing when they start. But before long it becomes all about the money and the fame, and less about doing what you love and creating something beautiful. 

I'd like to leave my print on this world for people to find years after I turn to dust, and I think an awesome band with a new outlook on music and it's relationships to other music would be an good way to accomplish that. Music is life, and it can send such powerful messages. I still get shivers every time I hear Bono sing "Did I disappoint you? Or leave a bad taste in your mouth?" 

We'll probably never hear a band like this, it's just not what the record labels are looking for. My fantasy band doesn't include any Bieber's, so I doubt the band would start out making any profit. A band in it for the music they love. Hmm... catchy idea isn't it? -Hailey

Hello!

Hello everyone! I am new to this blogging thing. I've been wanting to write something for a long time now and I guess this was a sensible choice. Writing is one of my create outlets, just as painting and reading. I haven't painted for a very long time and I miss it. It's hard for me to find inspiration for painting, and usually when I do start I don't know how to finish. I've also been very busy the past few months because I have been planning my wedding! Yes I am getting married to the man of my dreams on October 7. It seems just like yesterday he proposed and now were only eight days away. I never dreamed of getting married when I was a little girl. I never wanted to get married and have children because of the way my parents treated each other and my sisters and me. Then I met Chris and things changed. I guess that's how it usually goes. You'll find in my writing I tend to ramble and get off topic, that is if I ever had a topic to begin with. So with that I will close and hopefully my blogs from here on out will have a topic! -Hailey